A few months later, with Amsterdam still on my mind, I decided to give Ewan's book another try; the narrator's voice was fetching, and the light-heartedness reminded me of similar mystery books I'd read. But the first two pages of the second chapter had another interesting array of issues.
1. use of 'alright'. Generally this word is considered nonstandard, although it's frequently found, especially in journalism. But if the author is in service to the readers, and the readers get caught up by nonstandard forms, it might be better to go ahead and write out the two words.
2. use of hyphens. The narrator defines one man as heavy-set and another as rail-thin and almost ill-looking. However, hyphens are used to join adjectives that modify nouns. Thus, standard usage would be:
The man was heavy set.
He was a heavy-set man.
3. use of an object pronoun instead of a possessive adjective before a gerund
The narrator said "there was more chance of me turning down..." when standard usage would be "there was more chance of my turning down..."
4. use of "less" with a noncountable noun
The narrator talks about "less people," but "fewer people" would be the standard form.
5. use of punctuation
The rule is to use a comma between independent clauses joined by coordinating conjunctions unless the clauses are quite short. (You would not have to look far to find this rule in any grammar book.) Yet the author writes:
"For one thing, it was already dark and there was a raw bite to the wind that was keeping people inside their homes and off the streets but, more to the point, it took me longer to pull my micro screwdriver and set of picks from my pocket than it did to snap back the lazy old cylinder lock on the door to the barge."
An additional comma before "but" would accurately signal readers that an independent clause was to follow.
At this point I had to make a conscious decision to enjoy the book despite its nonstandard usages. I read it the way I read student work, which is to say I read for meaning rather than paying attention to details or reading carefully or trying to take in every word. The difference is that when it comes to student work, I go back and read a second time, pointing out errors and deducting points accordingly.
1. use of 'alright'. Generally this word is considered nonstandard, although it's frequently found, especially in journalism. But if the author is in service to the readers, and the readers get caught up by nonstandard forms, it might be better to go ahead and write out the two words.
2. use of hyphens. The narrator defines one man as heavy-set and another as rail-thin and almost ill-looking. However, hyphens are used to join adjectives that modify nouns. Thus, standard usage would be:
The man was heavy set.
He was a heavy-set man.
3. use of an object pronoun instead of a possessive adjective before a gerund
The narrator said "there was more chance of me turning down..." when standard usage would be "there was more chance of my turning down..."
4. use of "less" with a noncountable noun
The narrator talks about "less people," but "fewer people" would be the standard form.
5. use of punctuation
The rule is to use a comma between independent clauses joined by coordinating conjunctions unless the clauses are quite short. (You would not have to look far to find this rule in any grammar book.) Yet the author writes:
"For one thing, it was already dark and there was a raw bite to the wind that was keeping people inside their homes and off the streets but, more to the point, it took me longer to pull my micro screwdriver and set of picks from my pocket than it did to snap back the lazy old cylinder lock on the door to the barge."
An additional comma before "but" would accurately signal readers that an independent clause was to follow.
At this point I had to make a conscious decision to enjoy the book despite its nonstandard usages. I read it the way I read student work, which is to say I read for meaning rather than paying attention to details or reading carefully or trying to take in every word. The difference is that when it comes to student work, I go back and read a second time, pointing out errors and deducting points accordingly.
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